Category: Casino Fun

A note to God, written by a 7-year old.

Submitted by Peter Ballantyne.

Washington Nationals infielder, Jeff Kobernus, signs an autograph for Margot Kapusinski.

My brother, Frank, along with his wife, Doreen, and daughter, Margot, were in Washington D.C. recently and passed along this photo of Margot getting an autograph. The Washington Nationals have a promotion on Sundays where the players come into the stands to sign autographs. What a great idea for fans young and old!

This is a short story which floats around the Internet in different variations. While its been debunked as being untrue, it nevertheless is a funny little reminder on the importance of humility.

In the darkest part of the night, a warship plowed through fog-shrouded waters. With straining eyes, the Admiral on deck scanned the hazy darkness, searching for dangers lurking just out of sight.

Then his worst fears were realized when he saw a bright light straight ahead. It appeared to be a vessel on a collision course with his ship. To avert disaster he quickly radioed the oncoming vessel.

“This is Admiral Smith,” his voice crackled over the radio. “Please alter your course 10 degrees south! Over.”

To the Admirals amazement, the foggy image did not move. Instead, he heard back on the radio, “Admiral Smith. This is Seaman First Class Johnson. please alter your course 10 degrees north! Over.”

Appalled at the audacity of the message, the Admiral shouted back over the radio, “Seaman First Class Johnson, this is Admiral Smith, and I order you to immediately alter your course 10 degree south! Over.”

A second time the oncoming light did not budge. “With all due respect Admiral Smith,” came the voice again, “I order you to alter your course immediately 10 degrees north! Over.”

Angered and frustrated that this impudent sailor would endanger the lives of his men and crew, the Admiral growled back over the radio, “Seaman Johnson. I can have you court-marshaled for this! For the last time, I command you to alter your course 10 degrees to the South! I am a battleship!”

The lowly Seaman held firm; “Admiral Smith, sir. Once again with all due respect, I command you to alter your course 10 degrees to the North! I am a lighthouse!”

“The lefthander’s first good look at the leftfield wall, the Green Monster in Fenway, is an automatic reason for massive depression. And that’s when it’s viewed from the dugout.”

William Francis “Bill” Lee
Boston Red SoxPitcher
a.k.a. The Spaceman

40-Year-Old Mattie: “People do not give it credence that a young girl could leave home and go off in the wintertime to avenge her father’s blood. But it did happen. I was just 14 years of age when a coward by the name of Tom Chaney shot my father down and robbed him of his life and his horse and two California gold pieces that he carried in his trouser band. Chaney was a hired man and Papa had taken him up to Fort Smith to help lead back a string of Mustang ponies he’d bought. In town, Chaney had fallen to drink and cards and lost all his money. He got it into his head he was being cheated and went back to the boarding house for his Henry rifle. When Papa tried to intervene, Chaney shot him. Chaney fled. He could have walked his horse, for not a soul in that city could be bothered to give chase. No doubt Chaney fancied himself scot-free. But he was wrong. You must pay for everything in this world, one way and another. There is nothing free, except the grace of God.”

True Grit (2010): Opening Lines